Jar Wars!
by Chibiyu
Summary: No this is not about people throwing Jars at each other. JONASxSTARWARS! Three lessons learned; 1.Never trust Joe with a laser gun 2. Elvis is NOT Nick's dog but a wise old puppet 3. Never get my sister on a sugar rush and ask her for help. FULL INSIDE!
1. Everything Can go Wrong

**JAR Wars!**

Aka Jonas +Star wars = Jar Wars!

**Chibiyu: **_This is why you shouldn't ask my sister (AxJfan) about fan fictions involving JONAS. Because A, they will all die…And B, they will make zero, nada, zilch sense whatsoever. This is one of those times. You have been warned. _

Ok, this crack starts out as Fairly Odd Parents, then goes to JONAS, and then to Starwars, and then back again to JONAS…

Again, I warned you.

* * *

**Summary: **_No, this is not about people throwing Jars at each other, as Captain Jack Sparrow clearly shows does not work with his Jar of dirt. This is much more insane and random. It starts out with a young boy, with 2 very odd fairies…_

_Timmy Turner, the boy whose mistake often take a nasty turn, leaves the one item that can alter the fate of three boy's universe, and it results in Three main lessons; 1. Never trust Joe with a laser gun. 2. Elvis is NOT Nick's dog but a wise old puppet. 3. Never get my sister on a sugar rush and ask her for help for a JONAS fanfic. _

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()No POV_

"Channel surfing is so cool!" A 10 year old buck tooth boy shouted from within the world of the television.

Two large headed fairies, one with pink and the other with green hair followed closely behind him. The pink one looked like she was looking for anything to nag while the green one looked like he was thinking nothing at all. Was that elevator music playing from his head?

"Timmy, I don't know about this. Remember last time?" The pink one, Wanda, asked and Timmy rolled his eyes

"Lighten up Ms. Nags-a lot! Nothing can go wrong because I only have one remote now! Vicky could never get a hold of it!" Timmy Turner overconfidently stated and Wando bit her lip.

"Hey look!" Cosmo, the green fairy shouted, pointing to the Disney Channel. "It's JONAS!!!"

"Umm…so? I'm a boy…not an over obsessed fangirl." Timmy informed the clueless one but he had other plans.

"But Trixie loves them!" Cosmo reminded Timmy, showing a very rare stroke of genius.

Timmy needed no more prompting and instantly went into the channel and appeared in a firehouse where everything but Timmy and his godparents was bulky and in 3D. Timmy ran over and dropped the remote on the ottoman in front of the large projection screen he came out of and scouted around for something to steal…I mean borrow without asking…for Trixie Tang.

"It's Leprechaun Hunting Time! Nick, get up here!" A loud and slightly annoying guy voice yelled and Timmy ran to hide, his fairy's disguising themselves as guitar picks. A straight hair guy…Moe…ran in and crammed the goofiest green hat on his head, and that is saying something considering Timmy wore a pink one himself. Two more curly haired boys, Nick and…and…dopey, ran upstairs and mimicked the other weirdo.

_Wow these guys are idiots! _Timmy thought as he quickly grabbed a recently signed picture and ran, unnoticed by the three rock star's in question, to his fairies.

"Get me out of here!" Timmy begged them and the green one complied.

"Timmy! Wait the remote!" The pink one shouted, but it was too late. Cosmo poofed them into Timmy's room and Timmy flopped down on his bed, without a care, thinking on how Trixie would forever love him.

"Relax Wanda. What could possible go wrong?"

* * *

**Chibiyu: **_What can go wrong?!?! A lot of things…just wait and see. It will get funny btw, this was just more of background crap…I mean stuff. _

_Oh and this will be a three shot if you are wondering and yes it will be majority JONAS. _

_Expect slow updates for I will be writing this when my other stories kill my heart and i need a pick me up. lol, that will be soon and I plan on making a sequel btw...hehe and maybe a three-quel thingy if u like it so submit ideads now!_


	2. SHOOT THE SQUIRREL!

**Chibiyu: **_I promised funny and to me when I write it, it is a phail so I hope you all enjoy it more than I do right now. _

_I HAVE NEVER OWNED ANYTHING MENTIONED BELOW. THE PLOT IDEA IS MY SISTER'S AS WELL! THIS IN NO WAY IS MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE IT IS 100% A CRACK FIC. READ AT OWN MENTAL STABILITY RISK!_

* * *

_NO ONE'S POV_

After Leprechaun Hunter's, Nick grabbed his guitar and sat on his chair, strumming without a care to the world. He heard the door open and close and Joe and Stella ran upstairs, each out of breath.

"Guys, you will never guess what happened!" They both said, almost blowing up in excitement.

"Chibiyugixyami is going to stop torturing me?" Nick asked, without looking up.

"Sorry little bro, that will happen when the moon stops being cheese." Kevin informed him and he saw Nick bite his tongue to stop his from either swearing in anger or crying in fear…maybe it was a mix?

"Good guess but that would mean the end of the world." Stella wisely informed us and Nick smirked, whispering about how he knew how to speed that up…creepy.

"Oh my gosh! You finally found me an otter that plays the trumpet! I love you guys!" Kevin yelled, pulling them into a hug.

"Sorry Kevin, but no." Joe said and Kevin pulled away form them, a look of childish disappointment and heartbreak on his face.

"I take back my hug! And love!" He said, nearly breaking down into tears. Nick rolled his eyes and Joe and Stella exchanged glances before talking again, like nothing had ever happened.

"No! Movie Night! Kevin has never seen Star Wars…"

"WHAT?!?" Nick interrupted, looking at Kevin like he was only now truly seeing him and he was freaked out by what he saw and Kevin just shrugged.

"I know all I need too...kaooo..." Kevin put his hand over his mouth and breathed like Darth Vader would have and Nick shook his head, torn between laughing and disapproval at his 'oldest' brother's actions.

Joe opened his mouth to speak again but then he got a boyish gleam in his eye and ran into the Stellavator and threw something into Kevin's lap and came out moments later, in a full Darth Vader costume, minus the Helmet which was in Kevin's lap, who promptly put it on and start breathing loudly, causing Nick to glare intensely at his poor brother.

"The Darkness is strong in you Kevin-Vader!" Joe exclaimed, opening his arms out wide and Stella giggled and Nick made it a point to ignore his older 'brothers, because, in all honesty, two as queer as them were not likely to be related to Nick Lucas.

As and answer, Kevin pulled out a fake red light saber and him and Joe started fighting, Joe's green and Nick ducked as they two fought over his head and he stood up and picked up a random book, whapping them both on the head before sitting down again and acting, acting he was never interrupted form his all important song writing. Stella sighed and put in the movie, knowing by the time the previews would be over, Kevin and Joe would have tired themselves out and Nick would have finished the song.

Macy suddenly ran in, pulling an old lady behind her. "Guys!" She yelled excitement in her voice and making her eyes sparkle. "Look who I found on the streets asking a light post for pizza!!!"

The old lady looked around and smiled but she saw Kevin and freaked out. "Darth Vader!!!! Get away from here you little demon!!!!" She yelled and she started chasing Kevin around and hitting him with her larger than normal purse.

Nick looked up, skeptical and amused. "Why is the Queen of England beating up Kevin? Better yet, how is she even here?"

The Queen looked over to Nick and smiled politely as she hit Kevin again in the place where the sun don't shine and Joe winced while Macy and Stella were caught between laughing and crying from laughing.

"I am here because the authoress wishes me to be…haven't you learned never to question Ms. Chibiyu?" She asked a hint of evil in her old lady voice and Nick went red in embarrassment and looked down, muttering how he knew that fact well. Nick suddenly saw a pink remote sitting right next to him one the couch and it looked vaguely familiar but he couldn't place it, which was frustrating to the almost genius.

"Hey guys, what's…?" He started but Kevin and tripped on the couch, hitting the remote with his face just as the Star Wars theme began to play. And for everyone in the room, their world's faded to static.

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_I sat up, watching the world brighten, my brain thinking of a thousand solutions but only one made the most sense. Kevin hit the play button on Timmy Turner's pink remote and zapped us into Star Wars. That is my logical answer. So…where was I? Better yet, why was I wearing a dress like robe thing? Oh cool! A light saber! I smiled and pulled it out and turned it one, smiling as I saw the green and the humming sound. This was going to be fun…wait…I looked around and noticed a space ship and I couldn't help but think I've forgotten something…5 something's…ah well, can't have been that important. _

_I walked onto the spaceship and saw a flashing red light and I start hit the button under it and a video message popped up. Cool. Wait…was that…Elvis?!?!_

"Nick Skywalker, come to me you must." _My dog said to me and I was too shocked to even register I was playing Luke Skywalker in this messed up reality. _

"Elvis?" _I exclaimed and mu dog looked confused. _

"Yoda I am. Hit head did you? Skywalker come need you I."_I answered I would and ended the call as my ship started on its own and the location appeared on a map thing. I was still too preoccupied with the fact my dog was a wise old puppet and could talk, though I could still barely understand him. This is illogical and I can't have it. _

* * *

MACY'S POV

I ran again after getting up, not getting used to these weird shoes and the light saber's weight in my hand. Where was I? Ok, I was in Star Wars somehow, alone, with a lethal weapon I had no idea how to use…oh no…hopefully Joe doesn't have one…crap…if he does, we are screwed. I came to a room where Nick's dog Elvis sat and I walked over to him, confused and then I remembered him sitting in the corner of Nick's room, watching us run around insanely.

"Obie Wan, coming Skywalker is." Elvis said and my mouth dropped to the floor. Elvis…he..he just…spoke?!?!? Wait…I was Obie Wan Kenobi? Gross!!! And he was Yoda…who was Skywalker? Please don't let it be Joe.

"Master Yoda…" I started and Elvis looked up to me.

"Troubled your mind is." He stated and I nodded. "Clear it soon will be."

How could this be clear?!? We were in Star Wars and I was talking to a freaking dog!

* * *

JOE'S POV

I was walking around in a large desert area, laughing manically as I shot random things with my new laser gun. Chewbacca walked next to me and I wasn't scared; I was thrilled. I was in Star Wars, playing as Han Solo with an awesomely cool laser gun. This would be so cool!

Oh wait…were where are Joe, Macy, Stella, Nick, Kevin and the Queen of England?

* * *

STELLA'S POV

At least I still had sensible and fashionable clothes in where ever I was. It looked like a cell of some sort but how in the name of Mike did I get here? Was I dreaming? What was going on and where were the others?

"Princess Leia, your time has come." Came a chilling cold yet familiar voice. "Unless of course, you tell us where Skywalker is." What the heck was happening? It sounded like I was in the middle of freaking Star Wars!

The door opened and…no way…Darth Vader stepped in and closed it and I screamed when he stepped near me.

"Stay away form me you terribly dressed evil person!" I yelled and he stopped and _laughed. _

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

HA! I told Nick I knew all I needed to know about this movie!!! Woohoo!!!

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_I somehow managed to steer the spaceship to the coordinates, finding it much easier because there were no trees, cars, or people in space to hit, only asteroids. But those are big and slower than this awesome ship so it was easy. Landing, not so easy. _

_But I did it and as soon as I was out of the craft, a robot that looked like C3PO was leading me to the room where Master "Yoda," and Obie Wan Kenobi were. I found myself praying they did not notice I was NOT Luke Skywalker. The robot bowed and left when I faced and door and I opened it, remembering how they never seemed to knock and I walked it, seeing my dog sitting proudly on what looked like a circular table. _

"Nick?!?!" _I looked to the corner and almost cracked up. Macy was Obie Wan?!?! No way! _

"No Master Kenobi," _I said, hiding my laughter. _"I am Luke Skywalker. Do you hit your head or something?" _Macy pursed her lips and she glared and I turned to Elvis and bowed a bit, trying to to be embarrassed for bowing to my own dog. _

"Skywalker, defeat Vader you must." _Elvis told me and I looked up in shock. _

"Master, I'm not ready!" _I just got here and I only managed to fly a space ship and I had no idea how to use a light saber or the force! Though at home…I was quite good at what Joe called reading minds ad teleporting…but that's beside the point! How am I supposed to defeat an evil movie villain when I don't even know how to use a light saber?_

"Not yet you are, but soon shall you be." _Note to self, bring translator with me at all times and make sure it speaks Yoda. _"Teach you I will."

_What could my dog teach me other than sit and fetch?_

* * *

JOE'S POV

Hey!!! A squirrel! Oh, another squirrel!

I shot every one, laughing happily as I did and skipping a little. Ok, not very manly I know, but I had a gun! And again, I know there aren't squirrels in this movie, but I don't know theIR names so to me, they were squirrels.

Chewy yelled out something and pointed and I looked over to see a giant space ship floating there. Oh…ten points if I can shoot it down! I aimed my gun and fired one shot and it hit the ship, or it looked like it did but something fell from the ship and started coming towards us and Chewy pulled out his gun. Not my best idea.

* * *

KEVIN'S POV

I pranced around my ship, earning weird looks from everyone and I smiled at their new uniforms, and I went up front to watch space go by but I was disappointed to see sand and another planet. Bo-ring.

"Sir, your orders?" General what's-his-name asked and I looked down at him and he shivered. Cool.

"You know them." I replied, feeling very evil and General…Bob…ran off after saluting and I did a 5 second happy dance. My workers looked at me oddly and started whispering about my health. Oh well, can't please everyone with my awesome dancing skills.

"Sir, Princess Leia is not cooperating." Another said and I smiled.

"I will deal with her." I liked feeling evil…but of course I was on the good side…even if the dark side had cookies.

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

Ok, good thing, nothing as attacked us yet. Bad thing…I am in Star Wars and just got sucked in Darth Vader's Ship…yeah, that is a really bad thing. Hey…cool…is that a squirrel? SHOOT THE SQUIRREL!!!

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_Apparently Elvis could teach me so much more than sit and fetch. So far I learned it hits to get hit by mini laser shooting things, how to use a light saber and how to use the Force. This is really cool. Oh, except for the fact I had to fight Darth Vader and I knew the painful ending Luke Skywalker had to face and now I had to face it…fun…but the force was way cool…I could give Joe a wedgie if he ever pranked me again. Haha…who cares about using the Force wisely for the time I had it? I was going to have fun and stick to the plot at the same time. Good plan huh?_

"No Nick, it isn't but I guess I only have myself to blame because I am writing it." _A girl's voice from nowhere called._

"Shush up and let me have fun Chibiyu!" _I yelled and she pouted…or at least I think she did…_

"When do I get to have the fun?" _She whined and I rolled my eyes and she giggled. _

"You have fun whenever you torture my brothers and me so…pretty much every other time you write. Now stop breaking the fourth wall and move on with the story!" _I screamed and she didn't answer though judging by the way the laser things started hitting me repeatedly told me she wasn't happy but she could deal, after all, it was her story and I did speak the truth. _

_AND WHY DID I FEEL LIKE I WAS FORGETTING A FEW VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE?!?!?!_

* * *

_CHIBIYU'S POV_

_I was wrong before…this IS fun! DIE FOURTH WALL DIE LIKE MILEY CYRUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

* * *

JOE'S POV

The ceiling falling down tells me I shouldn't have shot that squirrel with a laser…whoops.

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

Why was the ceiling shaking?

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_Ok, seriously…who was I forgetting?_

* * *

**Chibiyu: **_Ok I got bored and decided to update here and this will turn into a 4 shot instead of a three shot. Crack-tastic ain't it? Until Next Update!_


	3. WEDGIE ATTACK!

**Chibiyu: **_I am surprised that this made all of you laugh…huh…maybe I should be the sequel I have in mind after all. Hehe. _

**Nick: **_I am surprisingly ok with that idea. _

_DON'T OWN ANYTHING MENTION BELOW…sadly. _

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_JOE'S POV_

Note to Self: Stop shooting squirrels.

The ceiling indented on itself and the alarm sounded and I screamed as a piece fell right above my head.

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_NICK'S POV_

_ I grabbed Macy and ran to my awesome ship after getting El…Yoda's approval and I shot off at light speed and landed on Darth Vader's ship. Macy got airsick so I ran off without her and I heard a very girly scream coming from the next room. Maybe Princess Leia was in trouble. _

_Wait…Joe screams like a girl? Oh this was too good…Black mail!_

_Oh wait…ceiling falling on brother…not good. Time to show off. _

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JOE'S POV

I screamed and screamed and screamed until laughter cut through my screams and I remembered that there was no pancake Joe. I looked up and screamed again at the floating piece of metal and how the squirrel I shot was fixed. I looked around and saw Nick doubled over in laughter. I crossed my arms and the metal moved from over my head and fell, my brother still laughing.

"Dude you scream like a girl. I thought you were Princess Leia." Nick choked out between laughs.

I sighed. "I blame Chibiyu."

Nick's eyes got really wide. "Dude don't! You know what could happen!"

I smacked my hand over my mouth and got down on my knees, praying for forgiveness and mercy, two words Chibiyu seldom acted on. But I didn't die a horribly slow and painful death so I guess I was forgiven.

"Close call." Nick said, hand over heart and I nodded. "You have to be careful. She is watching us and listening." He warned and I nodded, way passed creeped out and terrified. "Who are you anyway and _please _tell me you don't have any lethal weapons."

I hid my gun quickly because Nick hasn't seen it yet. "I am Han Solo…I think…Chewy ran off and no…I dropped my laser gun." I lied not wanting the cool weapon to be taken away. "Who are you? Luke Skywalker?" I joked, knowing my brother would never be that cool.

Nick smirked and pulled out a green light saber. "Actually…" Not fair.

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()_

STELLA'S POV

"You have a point." Darth Vader whispered, looking down at his outfit and back to his crew.

"I'll make a deal with you." I started, getting his full attention. "I will design new and cool outfits and you let me out and be free."

"Deal." He held out his hand and I shook it. He reached up and undid his helmet. "Man, its hard to breathe in this!"

What in the name of Mike was Chibiyu doing with this story?

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()_

CHIBIYU'S POV

I actually have no idea Stella. None at all. I thought that was the idea of crack fics? Or maybe I should just stop the crack and kill you all…

"NO!"

Geez guys, no need to shout. And lift pitchforks…and torches…I'm going to run now…

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_NICK'S POV_

_ I've wanted to chase that girl for many an update with a torch and pitchfork! But then Joe ran into the computer screen…forgot about that. DANG YOU CHIBIYU AND YOUR ABILITY TO BE UNTOUCHABLE! _

"I feel so untouched and I want you so much and I just can't resist you, it's not enough to say that I miss you…"

"Joe?"

"Yes Nick?"

"Shut up before I make you."

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()_

TIMMY TURNER'S POV

Star Wars was the best movie ever. But since when were the Jonas Brothers in it and screwing up the plot? Was this SNL or something?

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KEVIN'S POV

Stella's face was priceless. Yes I was one of the coolest villains of all time…which was probably bad for everyone else but it was SO MUCH FUN! I knew everything I need about Darth Vader! I had to kick Luke Skywalker's butt and kill him…or something like that. But this was all a movie so it didn't affect real life. I sure felt bad for whatever sap was Luke. Because I was his father. MUWHAHAHAHA!

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()_

NICK'S POV

Ok...Macy was back on the sick barfing her guts up…eww…Joe was standing next to me and inching away…who else was there?

Oh well. I want to kick Darth Vader's butt now.

"Come no J-Solo…It's time to find Darth Vader." I called behind me, getting into character but not following the script at all. You are in Nick's world now. Muwhahaha.

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JOE'S POV

I just got the chills. Nick chuckled rather evilly and I have no intentions of finding out what he was thinking. And I was afraid to follow him but even more scared to stay here…alone…so I ran after him, feeling very sorry for whoever was playing Darth Vader. No one wanted to face Nick when he got that evil gleam in his eyes.

I yelped and Nick cracked up, my underwear hiking high. HE GAVE ME A WEDGIE?

"Real mature Nick." I winced and he flashed me a rare smile. How was he three points shy of a genius if he just did that with the Force? Why can't I have the Force? Oh right…look at the damage I did with my gun…whoops.

Nick pulled me against the wall as two guys in rather awesome uniforms passed us and they turned to us and pulled their guns. Nick rolled his eyes and smirked.

"I've always wanted to do this." He whispered to me. He waved his hand in front of their faces. "We are not the people you're looking for."

The guard's eyes lost focus and they moved on mumbling something about seeing Nick Lucas…wait how would they kn-never mind. Nothing in here makes sense anyway. Nick was smiling. Not fair. I've always wanted to do that too…Why does all the cool stuff happen to Nick anyway?

"It's not all cool Joe." Nick gravely reminded me…wait…did I say that out loud? "No. I hacked into Chibiyu's computer and am reading your thoughts while she types them." You just bought a one way trip to death Nick. "I'm not dead yet, am I?" He questioned.

Yet.

Or worse…

A sequel.

DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()_

_CHIBIYU'S POV_

"Why do I have no ideas for a story that doesn't even have a plot? I mean so far all I've done is broken the fourth wall beyond compare and made Macy play a guy character. How is that funny?"

Serisouly!

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()_

_KEVINS POV_

The door opened behind me and one set of footsteps followed.

"Skywalker, I've been waiting for you." I breathed out as coldly and evilly as I could.

"Umm…sir?"

Whoops. I turned and faced a worker in a very stylish uniform. "I was practicing." I covered.

"Very good sir…very intimidating. I have a message from Princess Leia. She wants your approval on the uniforms." He stated, looking rather embarrassed.

"Tell her they look great. Now leave me!" I boomed, trying not to crack up.

"Yes sir!" He ran off and stumbled over his own feet. Funny.

Hey…since I was Darth Vader…could I use the Force?

Cool…

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()_

_TIMMY'S POV_

Wanda was right. Did I mention how much I hate saying that? And I have to get the Jonas Brother's out of Star Wars…in a few minutes…this is amusing.

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()_

_MACY'S POV_

NEVER LET NICK LAND A SPACE SHIP!

I just spent the last few plot-less sentences barfing in the ships bathroom. Ok, Nick isn't to blame, light speed is just NOT my thing. He actually did an ok job considering that was his second time ever flying and landing this thing…why did I get in this ship?

Oh right, because Nick's DOG told me too. I am an idiot.

GET ME OUT OF HERE!

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()_

_NICK'S POV_

_ Wait…what happened to the Queen of England?_

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QUEEN'S POV

"Hello?" _I called out, walking among the weird and ugly decorated ships deck._

"Hello?" _A deep voice called and I screamed, readying my purse. _

"DARTH VADER!"

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()_

KEVIN'S POV

Crap. Thanks Chibiyu, thanks a bunch. I've always wanted ot get beaten by the Queen of England's pur-

OUCH!

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CHIBIYU'S POV

_Hehehe._

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_JOE'S POV_

"Hey, were did Chewbacca go?" I asked, looking around and noticing the absence of my hairy friend.

"Oh, I didn't know how to write his sound/speech so I removed him from the story." Chibiyu's voice called and I rolled my eyes. Typical Chibi, always giving up when the going gets tough. No back one. No shovel to dig herself out of plot holes.

"Umm…Joe?" Nick called but I ignored him.

She needed to leave us alone with her terrible torture and stupid crack fics, though I love the laser gun, and she needs to write us happy. She needs to be a better person!

"JOE!" Nick screamed and I spun around to see…Leon from Chibiyu's story Who I Am, standing with a gun to Nick's head and laughing coldly.

"I think you should rethink your words _Joseph."_ Chibiyu sneered from nowhere as Leon's finger tightened on the trigger. Nick looked terrified and like repressed memories where coming to the surface. "He can't do a thing _Joseph. _I took away his light saber and Force."

She did. Crap. I really need to think before I…think? Huh…

"JOE! STOP THINKING!" Nick yelled and Leon laughed, hitting him hard in the stomach.

"He's right _Joseph._ It takes your brain too long to find out its being used." Chibiyu screamed in blind fury and Leon laughed.

I sighed, knowing what she wanted, after all, she made Nick and Silvereyedangel do it a few weeks ago. This was so demeaning.

I got down on my knees and begged.

"Please Chibiyu I take it all back! You're the most awesome writer ever and I love your twisted ways of torturing! I am sorry I offend you oh great authoress, just please don't hurt my brother!"

Silence.

Laughter.

Leon went poof and vanished.

Laughter.

Pain.

SHE GAVE ME ANOTHER FREAKING WEDGIE!

_()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()~~~~~~()_

_NICK'S POV_

_ Yes I knew I was in danger from the moment I read Joe's thoughts…which technically, Chibiyu typed but she still got angry…I'm going to stop thinking that now, I am giving myself a headache. _

_But it was all better and Joe was walking funny…_

_A permanent Wedgie…nice touch. _

_And seeing Joe' trying to get it…hahahahahahaha. _

_Ok now ladies, get that image out of your brains because I know you thought of it. _

_STOP THINKING IT!_

_You guys are gross…yes, you, the one laughing. _

_GOSH THE IMAGE IS FOREVER BRUNED IN MY BRAIN!_

_Thanks Chibiyu…I really needed that image…_

"Haha. You're welcome."

_That girl needed a muzzle…for her fingers. Huh…how would that work…?_

"Nick?" _Joe called and I looked over to him…_

_GET THE IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD!_

"Yeah?" _I tried not to laugh as he wiggled uncomfortably. _

"Two things. I think this is the door." _He pointed to a door that said 'DARTH VADER'S ROOM, WELCOME!' _

"That's…odd…"_ I stated, knowing it wasn't a trap because Chibiyu wanted to get somewhere with this story. _"The other thing?"

_Joe cringed. _"Never mess with the hand that writes you."

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**Chibiyu: **_A bit short yes and this is the second to last chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. I hope you didn't die from laughing because I want to avoid legal charges. Yes. Until Last Update!_


	4. Jar Wars Ends

**Chibiyu:**_ Finally, the ending chapter. _

**Nick: **_So I have to give up my light saber huh?_

**Chibiyu: **_Only because I am afraid you will use it on me. _

_And so, hyped up on Cold Medicine, I am here to say I TOTALLY DO(N'T) OWN JONAS AND STAR WARS AND THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND! MUWHAHAHAHA_

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_CHIBIYU'S POV_

Yes, I hope you all learned a very valuable lesson form Joe's last comment. Especially you Nick.

"Trust me Chibi, I learned that a LONG time ago." Nick informed me from inside my computer.

"Just wanted to make sure you remembered."

Nick rolled his eyes and sighed. "And how, exactly, could I forget?"

Muwhahaha. Being evil is WAY better than being a lady.

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_KEVIN'S POV_

I heard my door open and I laughed coldly, looking in the shiny metal of the ships wall to see, for a fact, that this was my enemy. But the image was distorted and I had no idea who Luke Skywalker was or what he looked like. But he had a light saber on his hip and was dressed oddly…like a Hero…Jedi…thing…

Ok I had no idea if it was Luke or not but I was bored!

"Vader." He sneered and again, I had no idea what he sounded like but I thought it kinda sounded like Nick. But this cursed helmet would let me hear a thing! "You're time is up." That's not in the script…or is it?

"Or is it?" I responded, coldly, turning in a flourish to face him, my light saber flying to me hand. Oh, this would be so much fun. Huh…he looks like Nick and that other guy looks like Joe…cool.

"Stop playing games Vader." Luke sneered, drawing his own weapon. "It's time to fight me."

"Or is it?" I laughed hitting the button and watching the pretty red laser shoot up and make the awesome Vroooome sound. So, to Luke it might seem like I was showing off when I swung the saber around, but I just really liked that noise.

His green saber shot out as well, him not playing games. "I won't be fooled by your games." He informed me and I rolled my eyes. But sadly, no one could see me do it. I think I am going to cry now.

"Or won't you?" I added, walking down the ramp I was previously stated on, wondering how long Luke could take before I drove him insane…Oh, that sounds like fun!

"Wait…" Joe's look-a-like whispered but Luke cut him off.

"Stop with the games Vader, its time and you know it!" He yelled, his eyes narrowing.

"Or do I?"

Luke stomped his foot in annoyance and my door opened again, both of them spinning around.

"Oh, hey guys." Stella happily greeted, skipping over to me, the Queen of England's arm looped around hers.

"Keep her away from me!" I yelled and ran to the other side of the room in fright, cowering from the old lady's purse of doom.

"DARTH VADER!" She lunged for her purse and ran, chasing my around the room, purse held over her head, my Light saber unarmed. I couldn't kill a Queen! Or anything for that matter…I wonder how that bunny shaped like a cloud is doing. NO! Kevin focus!

I want pudding.

OW!

Her purse flew and landed right on my helmet, which knocked into my head. Ow! What is in that purse! I turned on the Queen and pulled out my light saber, hoping to intimidate her because I couldn't hit a girl, or even a crazed Queen, but I hoped she would run off.

Oh, I was so wrong.

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_NICK'S POV_

_ Wow…the Queen of England just pulled a double bladed light saber from her purse and is doing my dirty work for me. Who knew Darth Vader was such a wimp? I watched him, in shock and torn between laughing and rolling on the floor as I watched the black caped demon run around the circular room, waving his arms in the air and screaming as high as his helmet would allow. If only I had a video camera. _

"I do!" _One appeared in front of me and I smiled. So the authoress did have a heart after all. _"I resent that." _She resented having a heart? Whatever. It's black mail time. _

"Look!" _Darth Vader yelled and pointed out the open door. _"It's a light post!" _He yelled and the Queen stopped, turning and running in the direction of his finger. _

"IT'S BEEN THIRTY MINUTES, MY PIZZA IS FREE!" _She yelled her voice diminishing as she ran further. _

_If she was Queen, I was a shoe in for president. _

"Now that she's out of the way…" _Darth Vader reached up, grasping his helmet and I stumbled back, hitting Joe in the shoulder. Did he know he was about to kill himself, or was he as dumb as a rock? _"I have something very important to tell you…" _He sneered, his helmet getting through aside and his eyes met mine. _"Nick? I am _your _father? GROSS!" _Kevin yelled, his face disgusted and yes, this all was so going onto Youtube. _

"Well considering I am not Nick here." _I told my big brother, twirling my light saber. _"And considering I've always wanted to fight with one of these babies…" _I trailed off, trying to scare Kevin. Come on, like I would actually fight my brother. _

_Kevin smiled and ran to me, brandishing his weapon. _"I have too!" _Crap. Hey…these things make awesome sounds live! No Nick! Focus! I blocked his poor shot and refused to hit him. _

"Kevin! I was kidding!" _I yelled and he stopped, pouting. _"Dude! You could have killed me!" _I yelled at him. _"This isn't a movie! This is real!"

_Kevin rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. _"How do you know?" _He asked, sounding more like a kid than over 20. _

"Umm bro?" _Joe spoke up and we looked at him. _"Look who is writing this." _And again, he tried to fix his wedgie, bring back images I really didn't need right now. _

"Oh…yeah…Sorry about that Nick." _Kevin whispered, scratching the back of his head, eyeing the ceiling nervously for the disembodied voice that was Chibiyu. _

"Sorry?" _I almost shouted. _"You almost kill me and all I get is a sorry!" 

_Kevin shrugged. _"It could have been worse. I am surprised I didn't actually."

"Nah, it's a crack fic, no one will die." _Joe waved it off, not thinking again. _

"JOE!" _Stella screamed, falling to the floor dead and somewhere far off, Macy died in a spot no one wanted to die; her own barf. _

"Way to go." _I told Joe, making his wedgie worse with the Force, his voice now an octave higher than what it should have been. _

_A laugh reached our ears and Kevin jumped covering his ears. _"The ceiling is talking again!" _He shouted running and hitting the door, forgetting it was a pull instead of push. _

"I'm only kidding. Joe's right. For once." _Chibi told us, Stella and Macy both getting back up. Wait…eww, poor Macy. It can't be fun waking up in your own throw up…yuck. _

"You had to make that door a pull?" _Kevin yelled to the ceiling, as he stood up, rubbing the red mark on his forehead. Chibiyu didn't answer…odd. _

"So…now what?"

"Joe. Is that a Laser gun?"

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TIMMY'S POV

SHOOT THE SQUIRREL JOE! SHOOT IT!

Dang it. He didn't shoot it. Nick 'Party-pooper' Lucas took it from him with the force. Too bad Chibiyu didn't catch. Then maybe this would get interesting. Dangerously interesting. I kinda feel bad for those boys. I am glad I am in a crack fic instead of one of her real ones.

Ok now I'm bored. Sympathy is boring. They are just standing there! I want some kick butt graphic action! I want to see Nick as Luke kick the crap out of his brother and then buy it on the 'internet!' This is gold! JONAS on Star War's…I can say I met them! Oh man, Trixie will totally talk to me then!

But first, they're ruining Star Wars! Wait…Nick is drawing his light saber…I tuned out his whole 'if we follow the plot then we should be able to get out speech,' but now there was action!

Wait…Darth Vader, aka Kevin, dies but there is no bad leader guy…Plot hole! So I guess it was really up to me to end it.

But first…

"Kick his butt Ni-I mean Luke!" I yelled at the television, whooping when he jumped over his brother's light saber strike. This is so cool! Oh man Kevin did a back flip over Nick's attack!

And now I'm bored again.

"Wanda! Cosmo" I called, tapping the fish bowl and the instantly appeared in a poof. "Get them back where they belong please, and I wish…no, actually, that's about it."

Wanda sighed and rolled her eyes and I knew the nagging was coming, along with the 'I told you so, 'but right now, I was bored and that was a world crisis! They waved their wands and POOF! JONAS were replaced once again with the real characters. I wonder where they went in the first place. Oh well. The movies on, so go back to watching the JONAS band!

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QUEEN'S POV

I still never got my pizza. IT'S BEEN THIRTY MINUTES MY PIZZA IS FREE!

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CHIBIYU'S POV

Wow this is dumb.

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_Third person_

One by one, the Lucas brothers appeared back in their room, each falling to the ground, disoriented. Nick was first on his feet, looking around, hands calmly in his pockets. Macy and Stella littered the ground at his feet, the Queen having already run off to chase a dandelion and Joe was backwards and upside down on the chair while Kevin was struggling to get his Darth Vader helmet off.

Nick looked up at the TV screen to see Star Wars credits rolling to the end and another familiar movie coming on.

"We will never speak of this again." Nick stated as Elvis waddled up to his legs. "And I thought you were hard to understand as my dog." He told the furry creature, petting him.

"I am STUCK!" Kevin exclaimed, stumbling over his feet and Nick saw the danger the same time Macy, Stella, and Joe did.

"KEVIN NO!"

And he landed on the Pink Fairly Odd Parent's Remote.

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**Chibiyu: **_Its FINALLY over! Now on to the sequel! Which won't be seen for awhile. I want to finish my stories and get them down to a semi-reasonable number now. :~) Until another stories Update!_


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